You are not lucky to be supported. You are not lucky to have love.
My heart races, my stomach hits the floor as the words tumble from my mouth and my voice shakes “I took LSD with my husband”. I watch her face, she looks confused…“What’s that? Is that like Meth?” she quizzes me.
"This is not your forever" I whispered.
To have those drugs was a big risk some might say. But when you’re desperate, and the other choice is death, it’s a risk that I found was absolutely worth taking.
I also feel sadness for him because he knew right then, he knows how desperate I am at those points and it is a real possibility that one day I could slip over that line.
“Common then, its ready” My husband smiles at me as he drags me from the bed, this will help you to feel better, common then” he pleads.I sob more and I can’t tell if it’s because of my hurt or at the idea of him caring after me so much, because every time he tries … Continue reading My C-PTSD and Cannabis Story
Hey you, I know you didn’t intend on crying so much today and you didn’t think you’d end up hiding under a blanket sobbing in the middle of the day.I know you didn’t intend on your Monday being quite this rough.You’ve had a insanely good few months, on the mental health front which is probably … Continue reading When you’d rather die, read this.
And well, I’m not dying. But it sure feels like it and I can’t tell the difference at this point. My thoughts race to Shaun coming home from work to find the kids watching Tv and me, a contorted mess on the floor after dying in my bedroom of a panic attack. And in the meantime a dog has eaten me.